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More thoughts on looping, low self-esteem



My last note was kinda cerebral, but I realized I feel very  moved by you
guys sharing your personal feelings, stories about music, looping, and
self-esteem --
So wanted to share some of my own feelings -
I definitely relate to the misfit finding a home in music story -
Remember noodling at the piano, maybe age 7 or so,  as my mother and sister
were talking for what seemed like hours- I really craved the intimacy but
didn't know how to get it, so looked for it in the sounds of my music --
Music has been both a healer and an isolator for me (especially with the
advent of computers, loopers) --
What's interesting is, I've spent the last 4 years or so in an intense
lonely woodshedding phase, learning looping, raga singing, and some other
solo stuff --
as I pursue the artistic direction naturally flowing out of that, it's
taking me to playing in lots of duos, collaborating with dancers, and
teaching my improv voice class --
which is all about relating to other people.  So it's almost as though the
natural pursuit of an intense solo art that I developed as something to
balance out my feeling of disconnection and alienation is leading me to 
heal
the trauma that created that need - by pushing me into pursuing connection
with others as I become dissatisfied with just doing it alone.
Does this make any sense?

And kudos to Rick for your solo vocal looping shows -- that's just what I'm
talking about, there's something in pursuing our path that naturally pushes
us to take risks.  And if we're brave enough, we rise to the challenge . . 
.
How about this idea -
art is a naturally self-evolving spiritual path?