Open Letter to Mark Sottilaro from Rick Walker

[Rick Walker <looppool@cruzio.com>]

Mark,

In this forum you just wrote:
".....Plus, I hate traveling. Even for
fun... it's not fun when you do a gig with Rick and Bill Walker where
you drive for over an hour, spend an hour setting up and shlepping
your gear plus a full video set up with a 16 foot screen and find out
they can't be bothered to move a monitor near you so you have to play
with headphones while smashed all the way off to the side of the stage
because they've spit the area among themselves. Awesome......"

I have tried to work out our differences off line with you,  but you 
won't reply to me,
so, because you do not have the courage to communicate with me directly
and have chosen to be critical of me (and my brother, Bill) on this list, 
I feel compelled to write to you in public.

To whit:

I would love it,  if you have a beef with me (or with my brother) that you
have the courtesy to take it up with me (or him, because remember, we 
are not the
same person) off list and , preferably,  not three or four years after 
the alleged slight has
taken place.     

It's just common courtesy and it's just a mature professional thing to do.

For one thing:
You might find out information that mitigates your particular perception 
of and assumptions about the
event in question.

For another:
You might illicit an apology if I've been out of line, unnecessarily  
narcissistic or stressed out
(all things I can be guilty of during the stress of trying to produce a 
multiple person event,  where
I provide the PA (for free),  book the gig (for free), handle all of the 
communication between artists (for free),
publicize (for free and with considerable time and some expense that I 
have always donated out of my own pocket)
and put up the posters.

I'm a fallible person and I try to be self reflective and self 
correcting if I"m doing something wrong or god forbid,
accidentally causing another artist harm or discomfort.  If I have done 
something wrong or if you, or any artist, feels
that I've ever been disrespectful or merely insensitive,  I'd love to 
know about it so I can make it right and apologize,
humbly.

Who knows what could transpire, but since I try really hard to be as 
supportive of artists who play events at
events, large and small, that put on,   I can assure you that something 
could easily have been worked out
and you wouldn't have had to hang on to this for so long.

Since you decide to air this grievance on the list (and years after the 
fact at that) then
let me please publicly  go on record about the particular gig you played 
here in Santa Cruz so long ago:

1)  We got into the venue very late on the evening of the gig (due to my 
work schedule, unfortunately)
which threw a real wrench in the entire flow of the gig, since I was 
responsible for making all the decisions
and setting up the P.A.

2)  We had always, historically, played the main stage in this venue 
(where there is plenty of room for many artists)
 and , at the last minute, they reversed that policy and forced us to 
cram ourselves into
the small other side of the room where room was much more at a premium.
This totally threw me for a loop and made me even more tardy in getting 
the thing going on time.

3)  From what little I recall of the event,  I was really stressed out 
and overworked trying
to get the PA working and trying to figure out how the hell to 
accommodate so much
equipment.   You, yourself, had a lot more gear than I thought you would 
have and we,
well, being the Walker brothers, had a lot too.

Also parenthetically, I never received any help from you, either: 
setting the P.A.
up or tearing it down..........a considerable amount of work, 
particularly at that venue.

In this community, I've found that most artists do recognize the hard 
work it takes to
produce a free gig and they chip in a little to help out.

4)  I tried to set the gig up so that we split the small space into thirds.
I'm a professional drummer who frequently comes to gigs to find that 
people have not let
me have enough space so I'm very sensitive to being as fair as I can 
about space:   ask anyone
about this assertion.  You'll find it is true.

5) I can't even remember the monitor issue, but if I made a mistake for 
the aforementioned
stress or narcissism reasons,   I am deeply sorry that you felt offended 
and years later I feel fine
about  issuing you a public apology.

*************************************************************************

Also,  I would like to publicly state that since that time,  I have on 
numerous occasions invited you to come and
play the Looping Festival.     I like what you do musically and you've 
been involved on this list for a long
time so I think it's a good thing if you want to play live.   I've 
treated you with respect and tried to be
inclusive.   This has been very consistent on my part because I believe 
in such things.

You have turned me down every single time and every single time,  I"ve 
tried again to get you to change your mind
to no avail.

I've never had a problem with it (other than being personally 
disappointed that you haven't wanted to
participate)

I wish you wanted to play live for this community because I think you 
are intelligent, sensitive and a good musician
with valid things to say musically
BUT.............. I'm completely down with your decision that you don't 
want to, or that you don't
want to play in public.    

Really man,  no judgment from me on that count whatsoever.  

I DID take you to task a week or so ago on this list for making a lot 
of  statements about the nature of live looping events because,
in point of fact,   you just haven't' participated in several years and 
can't really speak with any authority even though you wrote
as if you had that authority.  

Even in this,  however, I wasn't maligning your character or your worth.

I was just disagreeing with your assertions.  
It's what one opens oneself up to when one speaks with authority on a 
public list.
But none of what I wrote was personal or designed as a slight to you.

I do take exception, however, with the fact that you seem to be both 
critical and trying to pick a fight with me both
in public and in private correspondence of late.

There's just no reason for it, Mark.

I've always treated you with respect and I've tried repeatedly to be 
inclusive of you in the public events and festivals that I've promoted.
I don't have any malice in my heart for you.   I don't dislike you. 

Please have the common courtesy to treat me with equal respect and let's 
take all of this off line from now on.

You don't have to like me.    You don't have to agree with me about 
anything that I do or any aesthetic I try to embody
with the looping festivals I produce
.
You can hang on to perceived slights as long as you want, but my 
feeling  is that this is not the proper forum for airing
these differences.


yours,   Rick Walker