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(Fwd) (Fwd) those darwin awards again

>  The long-awaited new edition of the Darwin Awards
>  _______________________________
>  THE DARWIN AWARDS are given every year to bestow upon (the remains
>  of)those individuals, who through single-minded self-sacrifice, have
>  done the most to remove undesirable elements from the human gene
>  (# 1) Los Angeles, CA. Ani Saduki, 33, and his brother decided to
remove a bees nest from a shed on their property with the aid of a
pineapple. A pineapple is an illegal firecracker which is the
explosive equivalent of one-half stick of dynamite. They ignited the
fuse and retreated to watch from inside their home, behind a window
some 10 feet away from the hive/shed. The concussion of the explosion
shattered the window inwards, seriously lacerating Ani. Deciding Mr.
Saduki need stitches, the brothers headed out to go to a nearby
hospital. While walking towards their car, Ani was stung three times
by the surviving bees. Unbeknownst to either brother, Ani was allergic
to bee venom, and died of suffocation enroute to the hospital.
>  (# 2) Derrick L. Richards, 28, was charged in April in Minneapolis
with third-degree murder in the death of his beloved cousin, Kenneth
E. Richards. According to police, Derrick suggested a game of Russian
roulette and put a semiautomatic pistol (instead of the more
traditional revolver) to Ken's head and fired.
>  (# 3) Phillipsburg, NJ. An unidentified 29 year old male choked to
death on a sequined pastie he had orally removed from an exotic dancer
at a local establishment. "I didn't think he was going to eat it," the
dancer identified only as "Ginger" said, adding "He was really drunk."
>  (# 4) In February, according to police in Windsor, Ont., Daniel
Kolta, 27, and Randy Taylor, 33, died in a head-on collision, thus
earning a tie in the game of chicken they were playing with their
>  (# 5) MOSCOW, Russia-A drunk security man asked a colleague at the
Moscow bank they were guarding to stab his bulletproof vest to see if
it would protected him against a knife attack. It didn't, and the
25-year-old guard died of a heart wound. (It's good to see the
Russians getting into the spirit of the Darwin Awards.)
>  (# 6) In France, Jacques LeFevrier left nothing to chance when he
decided to commit suicide. He stood at the top of a tall cliff and
tied a noose around his neck. He tied the other end of the rope to a
large rock. He drank some poison and set fire to his clothes. He even
tried to shoot himself at the last moment. He jumped and fired the
pistol. The bullet missed him completely and cut through the rope
above him. Free of the threat of hanging, he plunged into the sea. The
sudden dunking extinguished the flames and made him vomit the poison.
He was dragged out of the water by a kind fisherman and was taken to a
hospital, where he died of hypothermia.
>  (# 7) RENTON, Washington, USA. On February 3, 1990, a Renton,
Washington man tried to commit a robbery. This was probably his first
attempt, as suggested by the fact that he had no previous record of
violent crime, and by his terminally stupid choices as listed below:
> 1. The target was H&J Leather & Firearms, a gun shop. 2. The shop
was full of customers, in a state where a substantial portion of the
adult population is licensed to carry concealed handguns in public
> 3. To enter the shop, he had to step around a marked Police patrol
car parked at the front door. 4. An officer in uniform was standing
next to the counter, having coffee before reporting to duty. Upon
seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a holdup and fired a
few wild shots. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire,
removing him from the gene pool. Several other customers also drew
their guns, but didn't fire. No one else was hurt.
>  Gulf Breeze, Florida, three unidentified teenage males were using a
home video camera to film an action/adventure "movie" one of the boys
had written. In a scene that called for each character to be ignited
by fire, the "special effects coordinator," age 15, prepared the
"stunt" youth by dousing lighter fluid onto his clothes. The
intentional fire, which proved unexpectedly difficult to extinguish,
left the young man with third degree burns on his left arm, torso, and
both legs. It was all captured on film.
> *************
>  In Bradford, PA, J. Cruwe, 28, caught a small snake in a container
which he handed to his wife. She opened the container and, startled to
see the snake, dropped it. The excited and poisonous snake immediately
bit Mr. Cruwe on the shin. Mr Cruwe survived the wound and recovered
after a short visit to the local emergency room.
> *************
>  In rural Carbon County, PA, a group of men were drinking beer and
discharging firearms from the rear deck of a home owned by Irving
Michaels, age 27. The men were firing at a raccoon that was wandering
by, but the beer apparently impaired their aim and, despite of the
estimated 35 shots the group fired, the animal escaped into a 3 foot
diameter drainage pipe some 100 feet away from Mr.Michaels' deck.
Determined to terminate the animal, Mr. Michaels retrieved a can of
gasoline and poured some down the pipe, intending to smoke the animal
out. After several unsuccessful attempts to ignite the fuel, Michaels
emptied the entire 5 gallon fuel can down the pipe and tried to ignite
it again, to no avail. Not one to admit defeat by wildlife, the
determined Mr. Michaels proceeded to slide feet-first approximately 15
feet down the sloping pipe to toss the match. The subsequent rapidly
expanding fireball propelled Mr. Michaels back the way he had come,
though at a much higher rate of speed. He exited the angled pipe "like
a Polaris missile leaves a submarine," according to witness Joseph
McFadden, 31. Mr. Michaels was launched directly over his own home,
right over the heads of his astonished friends, onto his front lawn.
In all, he traveled over 200 feet through the air. "There was a
Doppler Effect to his scream as he flew over us," McFadden reported,
"followed by a loud thud." Amazingly, he suffered only minor injuries.
"It was actually pretty cool," Michaels said, "Like when they shoot
someone out of a cannon at the circus. I'd do it again if I was sure I
wouldn't get hurt."
>  **************
>  TACOMA, WA - Kerry Bingham had been drinking with several friends
when one of them said they knew a person who had bungee-jumped from
the middle of the Tacoma Narrows Bridge. The conversation grew more
heated and at least 10 men trooped along the walkway of the bridge at
4:30 a.m. Upon arrival at the midpoint of the bridge they discovered
that no one had brought bungee rope. Bingham, who had continued
drinking, volunteered and pointed out that a coil of lineman's cable
lay nearby. One end of the cable was secured around Bingham's leg and
the other end was tied to the bridge. His fall lasted 40 feet before
the cable tightened and pulled his foot off at the ankle. He
miraculously survived his fall into the frigid waters of the Tacoma
Narrows and Puget Sound and was rescued by two nearby fishermen. "All
I can say," said Bingham, "Is that God was watching out for me on that
night. There's just no other explanation for it." Bingham's severed
foot was never located.
> **************** 
> Earlier this year, the dazed crew of a Japanese trawler were plucked
out of the Sea of Japan clinging to the wreckage of their sunken ship.
Their rescue, however, was followed by immediate imprisonment once
authorities questioned the sailors on their ship's loss. To a man they
claimed that a cow, falling out of a clear blue sky, had struck the
trawler amidships, shattering its hull and sinking the vessel within
minutes. They remained in prison for several weeks, until the Russian
Air Force reluctantly informed Japanese authorities that the crew of
one of its cargo planes had apparently stolen a cow wandering at the
edge of a Siberian airfield, forced the cow into the plane's hold and
hastily taken off for home. Unprepared for live cargo, the Russian
crew was ill-equipped to manage a now rampaging cow within its hold.
To save the aircraft and themselves, they shoved the animal out of the
cargo hold as they crossed the Sea of Japan at an altitude of 30,000

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