SCENE OPENS: Smoky saloon out in the Old West. Except that instead of weapons the cowboys have Zooms and EDPs and DigiTech units etc. in their belts. One by one the faces of these grizzled performers are framed, looking up, hearing the footsteps coming down the wooden sidewalk, until you see the double swinging doors at the front, with a pair of fairly new boots behind them. The doors swing open, revealing "Tim Goodwin" <firstname.lastname@example.org>, a young cowboy still fresh from civilization as we knew it. Frame several cowboys looking on, waiting for whatever he's going to say, and some faces revealing silent scorn at the "new greenhorn". TIM: I'm new to the group (hi everyone). I'm waiting for the Electrix Repeater to be released this month. If it does half of what it's supposed to, this would be no problem as long as the loops are stored in sequence. Then you just hit one button to trigger each loop. Cut to: KIM (barkeeper, behind the bar, looks up from polishing a whiskey glass and smiles) Cut back to TIM, who looks a bit nervous at having walked into a potential den of thieves. TIM: You can store 999 loops with four mixable tracks in each loop. And if you go to Pricewatch.com you can upgrade to a 256 MB flash cards for about 160 bucks. This will upgrade from 8 minutes to over 45 minutes of sample time! THE CROWD BREAKS UP IN LAUGHTER, SOME YOU CAN HEAR SAYING THINGS LIKE "YEAH, SURE!" AND "HAVE WE HEARD THIS BEFORE, BOYS?" TIM LOOKS TROUBLED AND CONTINUES... TIM: BTW, it sounds like some of you guys are making fun of all the features of the Repeater (again, I just subscribed, so I may be wrong). Even though a few of my friends referred to the extensive features on the device as 'cheating' (AT THIS HE SMILES NERVOUSLY), I can't wait to get my hands on this thing! They are selling for $525 at www.sixtecycle.com! KIM: Anyone got one o' these fellas? Ya had your hands on one yet? THE ROOM GOES SILENT. IT IS EVIDENT THAT THEY'VE ALL BEEN DOWN THIS ROAD OF IDEALISTIC EXPECTATION BEFORE, AFTER HAVING MASTERED ALL OF THEIR RESPECTIVE LOOPING DEVICES. KIM: Whiskey? FADE OUT.