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RE: Why I'm starting to loath news paper music critics



I released 2 CDs at the same time. One had acoustic guitar looped to make
normal-song-length renassance-inspired 'pretty music', the other one with 4
songs, each 16 mins, as ambient as you can get...just overlapping drones on
guitar synth (also with looping). I sent them in to the big local arts
paper. The reviewer, who normally reviews punky rock bands, loved the
acoustic one. Here are some quotes from the ambient one, (which he hated):
"The whole thing sounds like background music for computer-generated videos
of prehistoric fish or gigantic, ponderously cruising spaceships."
 
This, of course, made my day- I laughed so hard, and I include this in my
press kit. Ironically, even after calling my fishy loops 'ponderously
tedious', he gave both CDs 4 stars. I also include the star rating in my
press kit. 

What I was looking for when I sent it in was a few words I could use- I 
knew
enough of the reviewer to not expect raves, or even general admiration. Bad
reviews don't discourage me- in this case, it made me sure I was on the
right track- despite the reviewer's dislike for anything over 4 minutes, he
*got* it. And I wasted a little over an hour of his time. I got a lot of CD
orders from the reviews. 

For the first year out performing, I made up all my press quotes. Made up
the papers, the tv and radio shows I was on. I made up slick reviewer names
like 'Chip O'Donnel'. As I got more reviews, I replaced the fake ones with
the real ones.
 
Dave Eichenberger
http://www.hazardfactor.com