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On 7/22/64 11:59 AM, mark francombe wrote:
I think it is interesting that on a huge list like LD, we very rarely have these problems, and when they do pop up, I am always reminded of our sadly missed founder who never banned anyone, but I certainly received a well worded and curt private mail, intelligently putting me firmly in my place.I always appreciated Kim's approach, too, Mark, even though I didn't get it at first to be honest.
What happens is that when you call someone out in public, shaming occurs................people get really angry when they feel
that someone is trying to shame or attack them.There are, imho, wiser and more compassionate ways of cooling things down than strict moderation.
An off list post suggesting that one cool their jets or take a conversation off line, even with a warning is far more effective, I believe.
What this prevents is a clash of people's emotional styles between the moderator and the moderated.
Some people grew up in homes where arguing was completely frownedon...........some where it was encouraged.............some where that could became abusive.............some where not discussing at all was highly repressed. There are all shades of emotional communications...................and not everyone is fucked up because their modes of communication
differ.Occasionally, you'll get someone who will go over the top and not stop but, in the end, verbal akido, if you will, is usually the best policy...........people will cook themselves if they keep going over the top.
You are right though, Mark......this really is a good list all in all and we've had remarkably few flame wars in the past. I think that is something to be proud of............cooler heads tend to prevail.