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This sounds great if you dont mind i am coming with you;-! > Dear Red States... > > We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our > own country, and we're > taking just the Blue States with us. > > In case you aren't aware, that includes Hawaii, > California, Oregon, > Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois > and all the Northeast. > We believe this split will be beneficial to the > nation, and especially to > the people of the new country. > > To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all > the slave states. We get > stem cell research and the best beaches. We get > Elliot Spitzer. You get Ken > Lay. > > We get the Statue of Liberty. We get Hollywood and > Yosemite... You get > Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get > WorldCom and Enron. We get > Harvard. You get Ole' Miss. We get 85 percent of > America's venture capital > and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get > two-thirds of the tax revenue, > you get to make the red states pay their fair share. > > Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower > than the Christian > Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You > get a bunch of single > moms. > > Please be aware that the new country will be > pro-choice and anti-war, and > we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq > at once. If you need > people to fight, ask your politicians and > evangelicals. They have kids > they're apparently willing to send to their deaths > for no purpose, and they > don't care if you don't show pictures of their > children's caskets coming > home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that > the WMDs turn up, but > we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's > Quagmire. > > With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm > control of 80 percent of the > country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the > pineapple and lettuce, 92 > percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of > America's quality wines > (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90 > percent of all cheese, 90 > percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. > low-sulfur coal, all > living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy > and Seven Sister schools, > plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT. > > With the Red States, on the other hand, you will > have to cope with 88 > percent of all obese Americans (and their projected > health care costs), 92 > percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent > of the tornadoes, 90 > percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all > Southern Baptists, virtually > 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, > Bob Jones University, > Clemson and the University of Georgia. > > Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states > believe Jonah was > actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe > life is sacred unless > we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 > percent say that > evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam > was involved in 9/11, and > 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you are > people with high morals. > www.luis-angulo.com __________________________________ Yahoo! Mail - PC Magazine Editors' Choice 2005 http://mail.yahoo.com