OT -- A GUITARISTS SECOND WORST NIGHTMARE

[tEd ® kiLLiAn <tedkillian@charter.net>]

DANG, DANG, DANG, DAGNBBIT!

I AM TYPING THIS MESSAGE IN ALL CAPS (AND ONE-HANDED) FOR 
A REASON. NO, IT'S NOT THAT. I JUST BURNT MY LEFT HAND RATHER 
BADLY ON THE MUFFLER OF A BORROWED LAWN-MOWER. CRAP! 
CRAP! CRAP! OOOOOO CRAP! THE SUCKER HURTS TOO.

HAVE OU EVER LEFT AN IRON TO SIT TOO LONG ON AN IRONING 
BOARD WHILE IT WAS WARMING UP, OR TURNED AWAY FROM ONE 
FOR A SECOND ONLY TO SEE A BROWN SINGE MARK ON YOUR 
FAVORITE SHIRT WHEN YOU PICKED IT UP? 

THAT'S WHAT THE TIPS OF MY LEFT HAND FINGERS LOOKED LIKE 
WHEN I FELT THE HEAT AND PULLED IT AWAY FROM THE MOWER 
I WAS TRYING TO LEAN DOWN AND ADJUST. THERE ARE BIG NASTY 
BLISTERS NOW FORMED UNDER THE BROWN SINGED PADS OF THE 
FIRST THREE FINGERS. FINGERS AND PADS I NORMALLY USE FOR 
FRETTING A  GUITAR AS IT HAPPENS . . . AND TYPING ON A COMPUTER.

THE PAIN WHEN I TAKE THE BAG OF ICE AWAY IS INDESCRIBABLE --
EXCEPT THAT IT SEEMS TO COME IN WAVES. I'M TYPING BETWEEN 
THEM RIGHT NOW. I'M NOT KIDDING. CRAP! CRAP! CRAP! OOOOOO 
CRAP! IT'S HARD NOT TO LAUGH AT MY OWN GROSS STUPIDITY.
I HAVE TEENAGE SONS. THEY SHOULD BE MOWING THE LAWN
FER #$%&*!@! SAKES!

ANYWHO, ARE THERE ANY GOOD HOMEOPATHIC REMEDIES OUT 
THERE FOR MINOR BURNS OF THIS TYPE . . . OTHER THAN TYLENOL 
AND ALCOHOL AND LIBERALLY APPLIED ICE PACKS? HAS ANYONE 
BEEN IN A SIMILAR FIX? I DON'T THINK IT WARRANTS A TRIP TO
THE EMERGENCY, I HAVE NO INSURANCE ANYWAY, SO IT'S NOT 
REALLY AN OPTION.

I HAVE A GIG IN BOISE, IDAHO IN SIX DAYS AND ONE IN VENTURA,
CALIFORNIA THE FOLLOWING, WEEK AND ONE BACK IN OREGON
AFTER THAT. I DON'T PLAN ON SWITCHING TO THEREMIN OR AIR 
SYNTH AT THE LAST MINUTE. HEHEHEHEHEH, OW! CRAP! CRAP! 
CRAP! OOOOOO CRAP!

I GUESS I COULD PLAY SLIDE GUITAR IF THE BURNS DONT HEAL
ENOUGH TO BE USEABLE. I WAS A FAIR SLIDE PLAYER (ONCE UPON 
A TIME) ALTHOUGH IT'S A TECHNIQUE THAT I'D SET ASIDE IN FAVOR 
OF OTHER THINGS FOR SEVERAL YEARS NOW.

I SUPPOSE A GUITARISTS FIRST WORST NIGHTMARE IS A LOSS OF FINGERS.
SO IT COULD BE WORSE I SUPPOSE. ANY GOOD IDEAS? YOU FOLKS ARE
MY TRIBE. IF ANYONE HAS A BRIGHT IDEA I'D BE GLAD TO HEAR OF IT.
THE SHOW MUST GO ON -- ONE WAY OR ANOTHER.

tEd ® kiLLiAn

"Different is not always better, but better is always different"

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http://www.indiejazz.com/ProductDetailsView.aspx?ProductID=193
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