Kim's Musical "Anti-Spouse Forces Theorem"

[Todd Madson <crash@waste.org>]

Kim:

I nearly wet my pants when I read your bit about the fact that fast
playing causes "anti-spouse forces" to come up.  Although I don't
agree with your assessment of Lane (check out Temporal Analogues of
Paradise to hear his more thoughtful and slower side, he only goes
into orbit once on the first tune and again on the second), I do
agree with the Anti-Spouse Music Theorem.

My wife does not particular enjoy Allan Holdsworth's angular, fast,
yowling guitar solos.  But, she does like his tunes like "Distance
vs. Desire" from say "Sand" or the synth-preamble to "Hard Hat Area".
She's also not hot on King Crimson.  Anything that is Bellicose or
has a really heavy or odd-time feel causes her to run from the room
(although she actually likes Eric Johnson's playing because his
sense of melody and tone is so nice).

The theory is this: anything with an ape-like, crusty, hairy,
gnarled barnacle on the rusty ship-prow aspect causes the fair
sex to go running out of the room.

Where does this apply to looping?  Well, there's Dave Torn's
"The Entire Wish Spent Timing" which is way too beautiful to be
a guitar and my wife thinks it is simply a beautiful synthesizer,
but the direct-injection fuzztone at the beginning of "Pasha"
makes her run right out of the room.

Face it - some of the stuff that we like just makes people want
to be far away.

-Todd.